As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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