i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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