found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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