Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
