Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
