I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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