i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
