I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
