we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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