Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
