you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
