no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
