you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
