yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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