But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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