that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We got so high we made milksteak
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.