guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT