i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have aggressive nipples.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary