She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
