i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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