he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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