I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
