do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
