either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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