just survived the first fart of the relationship.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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