Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just want to make out with him forever
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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