What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
