it wasn't lemon gatorade
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
