he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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