I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
