Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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