Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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