You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
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I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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