I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
