the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
