So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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