drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's shark week go big or go home
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
