Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne

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  (734): smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne http://tfl.nu/p5m6
  Replies (2) Good night (1085) Bad night (419)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

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  (847): I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july. http://tfl.nu/a19z
  Replies (20) Good night (5811) Bad night (532)
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  (474): View more from

  Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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  (474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now. http://tfl.nu/0awf
  Replies (28) Good night (6509) Bad night (1083)
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  (310): View more from California

  i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son

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  (310): i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son http://tfl.nu/uvhv
  Replies (19) Good night (846) Bad night (4187)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.

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  (412): Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way. http://tfl.nu/rfmc
  Replies (18) Good night (4167) Bad night (643)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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  (803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192
  Replies (191) Good night (16044) Bad night (2304)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.

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  (901): He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/264e
  Replies (20) Good night (4372) Bad night (1290)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.

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  (514): Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife. http://tfl.nu/v3gi
  Replies (12) Good night (3067) Bad night (880)
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  (894): View more from

  just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit

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  (894): just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit http://tfl.nu/2422
  Replies (16) Good night (7129) Bad night (773)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget

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  (267): i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget http://tfl.nu/82kf
  Replies (8) Good night (2327) Bad night (914)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.

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  (404): like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game. http://tfl.nu/v9p4
  Replies (4) Good night (1959) Bad night (779)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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  (509): While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop. http://tfl.nu/o4cj
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (250)
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  (916): View more from California

  Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?

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  (916): Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right? http://tfl.nu/1so7
  Replies (2) Good night (522) Bad night (273)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.

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  (814): If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it. http://tfl.nu/i665
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (205)

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