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• (818): View more from California

  wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom

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• (352): View more from Florida

  So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.

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• (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  i should start naming my morning wood

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  great idea but wrong number

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.

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• (530): View more from California

  Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties

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