doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
