No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.