Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"

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  (404): He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!" http://tfl.nu/kefh
  Replies (16) Good night (5634) Bad night (944)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.

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  (484): I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition. http://tfl.nu/zjox
  Replies (9) Good night (4995) Bad night (935)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.

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  (814): Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night. http://tfl.nu/e3vv
  Replies (9) Good night (4168) Bad night (1071)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.

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  (708): Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic. http://tfl.nu/b2ov
  Replies (15) Good night (1705) Bad night (5928)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

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  (902): If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I. http://tfl.nu/orkf
  Replies (37) Good night (8445) Bad night (1431)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.

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  (859): And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues. http://tfl.nu/sbd6
  Replies (9) Good night (2099) Bad night (1549)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.

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  (609): At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared. http://tfl.nu/jdkh
  Replies (8) Good night (2937) Bad night (1044)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

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  (903): How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?! http://tfl.nu/tpho
  Replies (19) Good night (1230) Bad night (2436)
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  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
  Replies (8) Good night (3971) Bad night (741)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  (303): You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller (1-303): I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth http://tfl.nu/tary
  Replies (10) Good night (1111) Bad night (2328)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.

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  (774): It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia. http://tfl.nu/toig
  Replies (6) Good night (1177) Bad night (705)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.

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  (204): I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL. http://tfl.nu/e718
  Replies (7) Good night (1998) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Stop reading WebMD high.

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  (813): Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around? (813): Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid? (1-813): Stop reading WebMD high. http://tfl.nu/y2j5
  Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (401)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.

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  (250): Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'. http://tfl.nu/ziub
  Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (404)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you just miss his friendship.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.

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  (404): I think you just miss his friendship. (1-404): I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms. http://tfl.nu/chz3
  Replies (1) Good night (1002) Bad night (253)

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