Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.

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(972): View more from Texas

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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(818): View more from California

dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks

(626): View more from California

well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(647): View more from Ontario

im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to

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