We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?