All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We're too hungover to prance.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
