I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
