If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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