This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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