you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just cropdusted the office
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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