apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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