That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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