Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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