if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
