i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
