just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
