No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
