Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
