nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you never un-have a 4some
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
