you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
