There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
