I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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