where am i from again
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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