Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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