So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
