the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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