She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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