My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
