It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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