Me too!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
