wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
