she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
