It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
